Well if you haven’t heard the news, we found out we are having a little girl! We are thrilled! Her name is Lively Elizabeth. What a joy it has been to call her by name and talk about her by name and pray for her by name! It has made such a difference for me and allowed me to connect with her so much more.
Honestly, emotionally connecting with our little Lively has been a challenge because of the many losses we have had. I easily default into self-protection, guarding my heart from getting to involved with something I might lose. I try to make efforts to keep myself from this mentality, but sometimes I don’t realize it is happening. But now, a number of things have helped me to make sure I am not keeping my distance.
The first is knowing her name. It makes the reality of how she is a unique individual unavoidable to me. This has also caused me to realize this about our other 3 babies and I have often grieved their absence and yet been grateful I got to carry them for a little while.
Feeling her move is another thing I can’t help but connect to! It feels like a special secret connection I have with her. I will be sitting in our weekly staff meeting at church and feel her start kicking and moving around and I just can’t help but smile to myself and imagine her dancing around.
Lastly, hitting the halfway point. This has brought the reality of how near it is to Lively’s arrival. There is so much to do that I have been hesitant to start: getting her room ready, planning for her health insurance and pediatrician, buying diapers and clothes. As we begin to start thinking about all these things, it reminds me that she will one day fill those clothes and sleep in that room.
The truth is, I don’t have any guarantee that I will get to meet Lively one day. But the same is true after she is born. None of us ever have a guarantee to live through tomorrow just like I am not promised a certain amount of time with Lively. But I must move forward and operate in a mentality of trust and faith in God and that He truly does work out all things for my good and His glory. He is good. There is no one like Him.
So instead of worrying about the future or about how long I may or may not have Lively, I want to enter into this second half of pregnancy with an attitude of gratitude and celebration! So I thought I would create a list of the top 10 things I’m most looking forward in these next 20 weeks. Enjoy!!
TOP 10 THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN WEEKS 21-40:
10. being really pregnant during the holidays
9. a huge belly
8. parking in the expectant mom’s spaces
7. buying little girl outfits
6. birthing classes
5. the 3D ultra sound
4. having baby showers with friends and family
3. getting her room ready
2. feeling her movement as she gets bigger
1. Jimmy being able to feel and see her movements
Second half of pregnancy… bring it on!