What To Do With Self-Pity

Self-pity is simply the grief that I have nothing to brag about in myself.

Ever have those days when you feel like a failure at everything? The closer I walk with God, the more my sin, my deep-rooted self-love, comes into high-definition focus. And honestly, I’d really love to be the most put together person in the room, the most spiritual, the most holy, the most fill-in-the-blank woman I know. Why? [Honest confession time] Because I love boasting in myself!

And if we are all honest, who doesn’t? Who doesn’t love feeling like they are awesome? Like they are the bomb-dot-com, as Jimmy would say.

So today, while feeling sorry for my sin-sick self, I am reminded that those “woe-is-me” thoughts are anything but godly. They might seem spiritual and masquerade like noble desires to “be better” for God, but I am only mourning the loss of my own greatness. I am still, in my pride, just focused on myself.

But here is the occasion for the mental guerrilla warfare described in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6.  By taking captive my thoughts, this grieving of my own destroyed goodness might lead me to a proper boasting.

THE RIGHT KIND OF BOASTING

1 Corinthians 1 is the best cure I know for a low self-esteem. Read it with me here, and if you dare, read it out loud to let it settle on you:

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, “Let Him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

The truth is, the Bible actually encourages a low self-esteem. Did you catch what we were just commanded to do in this passage? We are to consider, meditate, think on the fact that we are:

  • not wise
  • not mighty
  • not noble
  • foolish
  • weak
  • base
  • despised

Ouch. Not really the list you would attach to your resume under “stand-out characteristics.” But this is God’s description of us. Many of us would do well to lower our self-esteem to match the truth of who God says we are.

Now before you get too depressed and start digging that pit of self-pity, hear the rest of the message. You were meant for boasting. Just not in yourself. Here is the main point of God choosing weak, foolish, base, and despised people:

So that no man may boast before God. Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord!

If you wanted to know God’s goal, this is it. He is in the process of saving people who will have no occasion to rejoice in themselves. He is saving a people who are excited about one thing: God Himself!

The Bible is never meant to give us a higher self-esteem but a higher God-esteem. We are called to esteem ourselves very lowly and esteem Him very highly. He alone is worth glorying in, celebrating, magnifying, and boasting in.

1 Corinthians 1 exists because we are so prone to obsess about ourselves. It is very healthy to be reminded that we are not amazing, God is. We are not righteous, God is. We are fools, Jesus is our wisdom. We are weak, He is strong. The problem with low self-esteem is not that we have it. It’s that we don’t complete the intended path toward a high God-esteem. Let low self-esteem be your guide into a celebration of God.

LET THE LAW LEAD YOU

Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith. – Galatians 3:24

My self pity is often a result of not measuring up to the law. I recognize how selfish I am and feel sad about it. But this is not the point of the law. The law is not meant to keep us standing still, aware of our sin with no where to go. The law is meant to be a guide, moving us toward Christ. It is our inability to keep the law that reminds us of our need for a Savior.

Christian, you are meant to re-experience your salvation every day. In each moment you fail, in each moment you don’t measure up, in every moment of self-pity or low self-esteem, you are to find in Christ a very present and active Savior from your sin. Not just on the day you first believed, but every day of your life. That all your boasting might be in Him!

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

Are you struggling today with a low self esteem? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Choose this day to humbly proclaim this truth: “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” (1 Tim 1:15) Yes, you are the worst of sinners. But yes, you have a strong savior who is worth every amount of boasting you can muster! Stop mourning that you have nothing to celebrate about yourself, and lose yourself in the joy of celebrating a God like no other who came to redeem undeserving sinners and adopt them into His family!

6 Comments

  1. Hey, Kelly! I’m Letícia, the girl who translated for you in Brazil for Amanda Rodrigues’ release “Sobre Ele”. How come I didn’t know you have a blog? Wow! I hate self-pity and it was amazing to read everything you said! I’ll always take a look here 🙂

  2. Mary Griffith

    I appreciate your thoughts on how we should view ourselves and how we should view our God. There’s so much self-esteem talk in Christian women circles, which is frustrating. It isn’t Biblical to esteem ourselves highly. Thank you for your truthful words. 🙂

  3. kkiroadteam2015

    THIS. Wow, what a word.

  4. Jacob

    odd how you ask Dad things and then just one more scroll and you come across a little kernel of truth or two. Solid.

  5. Thank you for this wonderful message, this is so timely for me, I cant stop myself from crying while reading this article. Continue sharing those revelations from God 🙂 May he pour out more of His thoughts on you :)) Godbless !

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