Tag Archives: codependency

[Friendship Gone Wrong] Unseen Neediness

Though I never had an outwardly needy friendship, the weeds of codependency were still popping up in my life, just in a different form.

I needed her to be ok with me. I needed her approval and her acceptance. I needed her more than I loved her. This is the essence of codependency: driven by our own needs we become unable to truly love other people. My neediness was near impossible to see because it manifested by keeping her at arms-length. I perceived myself not to be needy, but to be perfectly content without her in my life.

Marriage Gone Wrong: when codependency highjacks a beautiful union

After the series I recently wrote dealing with codependency in friendship, a few people presented a very natural follow up question: If codependency isn’t ok in friendships, then should it be ok in marriage? NO. Remember, I’m defining codependency as tying your emotional sense of well-being to another person. To say it another way, it is giving more weight and…

[Friendship Gone Wrong] The Journey to Freedom

If it is evident that you have been idolizing a person in your life and have become emotionally dependent on them, here are some basic steps you can take to move toward freedom:
Be Honest
Create Space
Prepare for Grief
Cultivate Other Friendships
See a Biblical Counselor
Get to Know God

[Friendship Gone Wrong] 17 Signs of Codependency

Two codependent friends may pray together, talk about Jesus a lot, and be extremely supportive of one another. The spiritual nature of the friendship may give a false sense that nothing is wrong. But even if the main topic of conversation is Jesus, codependency is never ok. Here are 17 signs that your friendship is codependent.

[Friendship Gone Wrong] No Safe Zones

Most Christians assume friendship could never be sinful, especially same-gender friendships. This is the reason some walk into idolatry blindly: they have a false sense of security. But idolatry is no respecter of gender. Anything that takes God’s place in your heart is an idol, even your closest girl friend. A best friend can become a god, a functional savior who rescues you from all the hardships of life, and very few will call it sin. This is why idolatry in friendship is dangerously deceptive: it has become culturally acceptable to need your friend more than you need God.